I just saw Love, Simon for the second time in theaters, which is really unusual for me. Actually, the only time I have ever seen a movie more than once in theaters was when I saw Good Will Hunting three times in a weekend at a discount theater when I was in college.
Love, Simon (for those of you who do not know) is a movie based on a book. It is a fairly standard teen romance movie, except for the fact that the main character is gay. The movie revolves around Simon writing with another closeted gay kid at his school. Simon is blackmailed by another student who has seen the emails. Simon is forced to do some pretty mean things to his friends in order to stay in the closet because the guy who has his emails likes one of his friends. Eventually the whole thing comes out and Simon's friends shun him because of what he did. It ends with Simon and the other closeted kid ultimately getting together. I won't reveal who the kid is, just in case you haven't seen the movie yet.
The reason I really love the movie is because it is so relatable. If you are queer, you will know the terror that Simon feels when he is threatened with being outed. Coming out of the closet is a terrifying and deeply personal process, and to have yourself prematurely outed is quite possibly the worst thing that can happen to someone who is not ready to come out yet. Coming out is about you telling the world who you are on a deep level and to have that choice ripped out of your hands is traumatizing in a way that is very hard to explain. I was lucky that I was able to come out on my own terms when I was ready, even if I was in my 20s at the time. I can't imagine what it would be like to have someone take that choice away from me. When Simon confronts the guy who outed him, he says that "Coming out is my thing and you took that away from me!" (or words close to that). That is absolutely the case. When people say that "Oh I knew that he/she was gay!" or "Oh, yeah, I knew it.", they are trivializing what it means to come out. It is not about you and what you know or think you know, it's about the person coming out revealing who they are to you. Even if you suspected, never say that. Thank the person for coming out to you and revealing who they are.
Another part I loved about the movie is that they had a montage where the Simon's friends came out tot heir parents as heterosexual, which was in some of the trailers. I loved that because we do live in a heteronormative world where people assume that you are heterosexual unless you specifically say otherwise. Watching the parents reactions, especially the over the top black mother, was completely hilarious. It was also very satisfying to see.
Something else that was relatable was watching Simon try and figure out his feelings and when he tried to flirt with other guys without actually flirting. One of my favorite scenes was at the beginning of the movies (also in trailers) where Simon compliments a guy on his boots after surreptitiously watching him from his window. I remember trying to covertly watch guys and see who I thought was hot. I'm sure lots of straight guys (and girls) do it too, but they can be more open about it because heterosexual is the default in our world.
Then there was the scene where one of Simon's girl friends wanted to talk about hot guys with him after he came out to her (before the emails were released). It was totally awkward and super funny. He so did not know how to handle the whole situation, particularly because there was already a guy who he liked, even though the guy turned out to be straight. Again, this is something I can totally relate to. I remember guy watching with my sister after I came out. It was a little awkward at first, but it was still lots of fun to do.
I also loved the way his parents handled everything. His dad failed at first, trying to use awkward humour to deflect the moment, but Simon's mom was perfect. She let Simon come to her in his own time and talk when he was ready. I did love that Simon's dad redeemed himself and apologized for anything that he had done which made Simon feel uncomfortable about coming out earlier. When he hugged Simon, I had flashbacks to the time I came out to my dad and he hugged me and just thanked me for telling him. That was perfect.
Then there was the scene where Simon came out to his family. n voice overs and emails with Blue (the other kid), he said that he hadn't come out because he didn't want things to change. And that is the thing about coming out. While you are still the same person (as Simon asserts), you are revealing something major about yourself that will invariably affect how people see you. And that is very, very scary.
My only quibble with the movie is that Nick Robinson, who played Simon, is straight. While not totally disqualifying, I think I would have preferred seeing a gay guy actually play the Simon in the movie. Not a huge thing, but it would have been nice.
I really hope that this movie is the first movie of its kind. Representation is important and having mainstream studios make a movie which shows the process of coming out and what it can be like to be a closeted person in the world we live in. Please go see this movie because while it may not be a perfect movie or the ultimate, it is an honest representation of growing up queer.
