After I wrote my post yesterday, I had some more thoughts related to the movie that I wanted to share. You see, as I said yesterday, the movie is all about acceptance. Both acceptance of yourself and acceptance by others. If either one is missing, then problems can definitely commence. In the movie, Bobby felt that he had no one he could talk to about his problems. He saw the guy he liked with another guy and his mom wouldn't talk to him. He felt that his immediate family didn't love him anymore and I am not sure why he didn't think about his cousin. So he got trapped in a spiral of despair.
For some kids today, this is still the case. People make fun of those who are different. For many, if you do not fit into the gender roles dictated for you by society, you are a "fag", "dyke", "queer", etc. Some families refuse to accept those who don't follow the dictates of their religion or ideas. Couple this with the increasing personal isolation of the Internet age, and you have people who have trouble coping and finding their place, even as the world as a whole, grows increasingly accepting of those who are LGBT.
Now, I know this sounds like a PSA, and in a manner of speaking it is. The thing about PSAs is that they are needed for a reason. Right now, there are probably people who are contemplating suicide because of how they are treated by others. I also know that my blog is not exactly wide read, but if I can help even one person, that is good. I just wanted to call attention to the Trevor Hotline.
The Trevor Hotline is a hotline set up for LGBT youth and teens who feel like they have no one, kids like Bobby. If you happen to be reading this and know of a teen who needs help, point them to the Project please. No one should kill themselves because of who they are or because they feel unloved. There is always someone out there for you, you just have to find them.
Go to: http://www.trevorproject.org or call 866-488-7386. Please. Pass this message along. Save a life. Because all life is sacred and all life deserves to be lived.
Thank you.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Prayers for Bobby
I know that alot of my movie reviews have to do with movies about gays and lesbians and I know that sometime I might seem obsessed with the subject, but I also know that I can only write about that which touches me deeply and this topic always does. Before I get to the part about me (because that is always part of any review), let's talk about the movie.
Prayers for Bobby is a movie about a mother's journey of acceptance in the early 1980s. Sigourney Weaver plays Mary Griffith whose son Bobby (Ryan Kelley) is the perfect son. Everyone loves him and he can seemingly do no wrong. Then one day, he contemplates committing suicide because he knows he is gay and thinks his family won't accept him. He tells his brother (Austin Nichols) who promises to say nothing, only to tell their mom and dad (Henry Czerny). Mary is a fundamentalist Christian and tries to cure Bobby and pushes him to go out with girls. Over time, their relationship becomes strained because Bobby realizes that he cannot change but lies to his mom because he craves her approval. During a visit to his cousin in Portland, he meets a guy, David. When he goes home, he tells his parents about him only to have his mom tell him that she has no gay son. He leaves for Portland with his mother's condemnation ringing in his ears. He ultimately commits suicide after seeing David hanging out with another man. Mary struggles greatly with Bobby's suicide and after finding a bookmark for a church in Bobby's journal, she meets with the pastor of the inclusive church. They have a couple of confrontations as she seeks answers and he encourages her to go to a PFLAG meeting. She does, and while there, realizes that she always knew Bobby was gay. When a proposition comes before her city council to recognize Gay Day and people are jeering at those who support the proposition, she tells her story. The proposition loses, but this event helps her to reconnect with her family by pulling her out of her grief. The film ends with the family going to a gay pride march and Mary finding a young man much like Bobby and hugging him to let him know that he is loved.
I know, it really is pretty much a boiler plate and formulaic drama. But, that's ok. I have read reviews of people who say that the movie was pretty much a waste and it should have explored the inner struggles more; but if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, then you don't need the inner struggles explored. While not everyone goes through the struggle to the degree that Bobby did, everyone I have ever met who is LGBT has gone through it. The fear of not being loved. The wondering if you will be accepted. The times when you just want it all to end because it seems like too much.
Another complaint I have read was that the mother's questioning seems too simplistic. But again, this questioning seemed very realistic to me. When I came out to my mom, she asked me all the same questions. She asked if I was sure, if she did something wrong, and if I wanted to be cured. Ultimately, I knew that my mom loved and accepted me for who I am. I am not saying that she would agree with all the choices I have made in my life, but she would still love me. That I am sure of.
For me, I know that my struggle lies in wondering if I will ever find someone else to share my life with. Regardless of how I may appear sometimes, I am a very, very shy person. I do not like going out and that makes it very hard to meet people. Also, I am fat and in much of the gay community, that is a sin of the highest degree. A few years ago, I found a guy I really, really liked. It took me almost 3 years to get myself to the point where I could ask him out. By the time I did, I found out that he was moving to Florida because he met someone down there. So once again, I find myself alone. I want to meet someone. I want to find a husband. I want to have kids and a family. I want to not be alone and pathetic. But I always wonder and worry that I will be.
My other struggle lies in knowing who to tell. You see, I work with kids as a tutor. And while I know that I would never, ever hurt a kid, not everyone would think that. There are people out there who would want me to not work with kids because I am gay and might molest them. Never mind the idea that molesting or hurting a child in any way is so incredibly repugnant to me. Children are meant to be loved and protected, not hurt or damaged. One of my missions as a tutor is to show children that they are loved and accepted regardless of any mistakes they may make.
Anyways, I know I've said alot and I hope it was all comprehensible. Seeing as this is a review, I want to end by saying that I think that everyone should see this movie. Sentimental? Yes. But truthful and powerful all the same.
Love to all.
Prayers for Bobby is a movie about a mother's journey of acceptance in the early 1980s. Sigourney Weaver plays Mary Griffith whose son Bobby (Ryan Kelley) is the perfect son. Everyone loves him and he can seemingly do no wrong. Then one day, he contemplates committing suicide because he knows he is gay and thinks his family won't accept him. He tells his brother (Austin Nichols) who promises to say nothing, only to tell their mom and dad (Henry Czerny). Mary is a fundamentalist Christian and tries to cure Bobby and pushes him to go out with girls. Over time, their relationship becomes strained because Bobby realizes that he cannot change but lies to his mom because he craves her approval. During a visit to his cousin in Portland, he meets a guy, David. When he goes home, he tells his parents about him only to have his mom tell him that she has no gay son. He leaves for Portland with his mother's condemnation ringing in his ears. He ultimately commits suicide after seeing David hanging out with another man. Mary struggles greatly with Bobby's suicide and after finding a bookmark for a church in Bobby's journal, she meets with the pastor of the inclusive church. They have a couple of confrontations as she seeks answers and he encourages her to go to a PFLAG meeting. She does, and while there, realizes that she always knew Bobby was gay. When a proposition comes before her city council to recognize Gay Day and people are jeering at those who support the proposition, she tells her story. The proposition loses, but this event helps her to reconnect with her family by pulling her out of her grief. The film ends with the family going to a gay pride march and Mary finding a young man much like Bobby and hugging him to let him know that he is loved.
I know, it really is pretty much a boiler plate and formulaic drama. But, that's ok. I have read reviews of people who say that the movie was pretty much a waste and it should have explored the inner struggles more; but if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, then you don't need the inner struggles explored. While not everyone goes through the struggle to the degree that Bobby did, everyone I have ever met who is LGBT has gone through it. The fear of not being loved. The wondering if you will be accepted. The times when you just want it all to end because it seems like too much.
Another complaint I have read was that the mother's questioning seems too simplistic. But again, this questioning seemed very realistic to me. When I came out to my mom, she asked me all the same questions. She asked if I was sure, if she did something wrong, and if I wanted to be cured. Ultimately, I knew that my mom loved and accepted me for who I am. I am not saying that she would agree with all the choices I have made in my life, but she would still love me. That I am sure of.
For me, I know that my struggle lies in wondering if I will ever find someone else to share my life with. Regardless of how I may appear sometimes, I am a very, very shy person. I do not like going out and that makes it very hard to meet people. Also, I am fat and in much of the gay community, that is a sin of the highest degree. A few years ago, I found a guy I really, really liked. It took me almost 3 years to get myself to the point where I could ask him out. By the time I did, I found out that he was moving to Florida because he met someone down there. So once again, I find myself alone. I want to meet someone. I want to find a husband. I want to have kids and a family. I want to not be alone and pathetic. But I always wonder and worry that I will be.
My other struggle lies in knowing who to tell. You see, I work with kids as a tutor. And while I know that I would never, ever hurt a kid, not everyone would think that. There are people out there who would want me to not work with kids because I am gay and might molest them. Never mind the idea that molesting or hurting a child in any way is so incredibly repugnant to me. Children are meant to be loved and protected, not hurt or damaged. One of my missions as a tutor is to show children that they are loved and accepted regardless of any mistakes they may make.
Anyways, I know I've said alot and I hope it was all comprehensible. Seeing as this is a review, I want to end by saying that I think that everyone should see this movie. Sentimental? Yes. But truthful and powerful all the same.
Love to all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)